We can all be victims at some point in our lives. If a thief breaks into your house, you’ve been victimized. Giving out a credit card to someone posing as being from the IRS translates to being scammed (victim). Being in an abusive marriage creates a prison like setting for the person being abused (victim).
We can all be victims but we don’t need to stay there any longer than necessary.
Being a victim is a transient phenomenon and not a life long sentence. When we refer to people who have faced terrible adversities, we are not only labeling them but we create a mindset in their own heads that may limit their capacity for action.
The Resilience Advantage model tells us that people don’t stay in the state of victimization. They are onto getting a security system, creating new and safer pins for their credit cards ,and getting over to a Shelter to begin their new life.
We can help by stop thinking and saying that they are victims but instead state that they “experienced” that event (break in, scam or abuse) rather than that they became that event.
Language makes a difference in how we think of others and ourselves. People who have experienced tragic and horrific events demonstrate their resilience by making courageous decisions everyday to do something to advance their lives.
We want to make sure we support them in that journey.
© Richard Citrin, All rights reserved, 2018
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1 thought on “The Language of Victimhood”
GREAT reframe, Richard! I never liked that label as a permanent ‘state of being!’
Looking forward to seeing you at the Million Dollar Consulting Convention in Boston next month! Carol